Wednesday, April 26, 2017
The battle within: Why do we need our demons?
Let’s face it. Every once in a while we’ve come across situations in life which either annihilates us or glorifies us. Nonetheless, they have been our moments and we can’t get rid of them even after we’re buried. They might die with us, but they will live on forever in the ones who has shared our lives – father, mother, brother, sister, wife, children, friends... everyone. In short, our secrets are never ours to keep. You had a fight with your friend, you tell your sibling. You had a fight with family, you tell your best friend. You had a bad day at work, you tell your other half. Not every secret might be worth sharing, but if it’s killing you inside, you share it anyway and see what it does. If it dies when shared, it proves that your partner is mature enough to see past it and embrace you for what you are now. If your secret grows from being a dark entity to a monstrous mistake, it means you shouldn’t have let it out in the first place.
That’s the flipside of every relationship. There are some monsters inside you which not everyone can bravely face. It would haunt their memories and taint your relationship for life. These are the battles you should fight for yourself no matter how much you love your other half. Because you may be strong enough to survive the aftermath, but your partner may not. Your partner must be struggling to either get rid of his/her own demons, or make peace with it. Whatsoever, those demons inside will never leave. You see, it is like this! If you are determined to be cynical and sceptical, the demons will enjoy being with you. It’s not your fault that you are negatively inspired. Maybe that’s how you’ve learnt to fight your battles. You feel so obsessed with winning that you never realise what your inner demon is doing with your soul. Sometimes, you have to lose to find yourself and all artists and the poets tell you the same story. There is a thin line between ego and self-respect and most of the times the lines are blurred. We end up massaging our ego in the name of keeping up to our self-respect. But we will realise it only when we lose something or someone that we value the most. Until then, whatever we say or do just seems too whimsical or exaggerated.
When it comes to living with someone who’s totally new to your life, the first and foremost rule is reciprocation of everything. Nobody in a relationship is willing to surrender themselves completely at the mercy of the significant other. If you have been living your life a certain way for a couple of decades, you are bound to live it likewise even after. What matters the most in a relationship is compatibility. How flexible we are to adjust with someone’s family, friends, behaviours, lifestyle and emotions. Expectations will be plenty from both sides. And they have to be met by both. “Why should I change?” is the killer in every relationship. If your demon realises that you are willing to let it go, it will never leave you. It will fill you with all sorts of negativity and make you the worst possible being. But, is that your fault that you’re weak enough to terminate it from your mind? May be it is your fault. Are you willing to accept it? Maybe not! Well, faith is something man-made. God didn’t put it inside us. If it was, we’d all have it as standard equipment built into our soul system. Faith comes from the acceptance of what we are! It stays with us with the thought that whatever we are, good or bad, if we can change it to be happy from within. It will leave you when you are blinded by agonies with expiry date. You don’t see that it’s all temporary.Imagine you “adjust” to change and even live with it for the rest of your life. Do you think the demon has left you? NO! You have conditioned your demon in a way that it comes out only when you need it. The demon becomes your slave and not the other way round. You start to live for what’s in front of you rather than what you imagined it to be. You start to make room for more memories in your heart instead of miseries. You become a lively human being with a heart full of love instead of someone who despises every breath you take. In a way, it is your demon that will live with you till the end of you. All the people around will eventually vanish. All the emotions will gradually fade away. But, as long as you’re alive, you will make the people around you feel worthy of themselves for having a gem of a person like you in their mediocre life.